8403

Thats how old I am - in days.
Here is what I meant to type in under the post named 23 but after receiving so many nice comments on that post, I stopped myself from spoiling the mood and typing this into that post. So, I'll put it up as a new post altogether.

Its actually a mail I sent out to a friend. I did post an email earlier as well. That was written to that friend too. Anyhow, read on !!

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Hey [snip]

Thanks a ton for the wishes. Thanks for staying up late and calling me at midnight. No one's ever done that before. Sorry I slept early and couldnt answer your call. Surprisingly though, my friend from Chandigarh did exactly the same and in the morning, I read 2 similar SMSs that said something like "Your phone is useless coz you never answer it". LOL, one was yours and the other was hers.

You are right. It was a good year, an eventful year. I did a lot of things which were new. I did a lot of things which were pleasant. But somehow, every birthday, I cant seem to help myself from feeling down The main reason is my thought process suddenly points out and says I am a year older, a year more of being a nobody. I don’t like being a nobody, I don’t want to live my life being a nobody. I wanted to establish myself in SOME field before I was out of my teens but it was like getting rudely shaken out of a dream.

Another thing that bugs me all the time is this inherent feeling of being single. Not so much as not having a girlfriend but more like ….being "lonesome" would be a better way to put it. I want to have friends whom I can call up every day. Friends whom I can meet up every evening and have fun. Why cant I have someone who always has the time when I do? Why don't I have friends who call me up everyday and ask how was my day. I want to go out in the evening and play something. Maybe not football. Maybe cricket in the lawn, like we used to play at Sam's place when we were in school. Maybe kabaddi, maybe pakda-pakdi, maybe eye-spy…maybe just a walk down the old road, down to the skating rink. Anything !! I just hate being a working professional who has no time after coming back from office.

People say growing older is growing wiser. I don’t want to grow wiser. The more you know, the more you have to worry about. I want to be as naïve as I was when I was younger. I don’t want to live a stressful life. If its too much I am asking for, why can't I have friends whom I can share my stress with. Talk about it, crib about it, laugh about it and let it go.

I'm 23 today and I cant help it. I’ll live my life as I have been living. With cheer and a optimistic approach. I will go see more places, meet new people. I wont stop trying to get back with old friends and I wont back off from challenges. But all the while, I will be waiting for that special day when I am face to face with my dreams…face to face with an opportunity.

Thanks for being my friend.
[snip] !!

P.S. : I know its stupid but I was about to write a b'day post on my blog and I just realize your mail made me pour out all that I had in mind. Would you mind if I post this mail? I will of course, remove your name from it.

-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs