3 years...of life !
6/7/3
I slept that night with a face in my eyes...Finally ! A face that I saw in my mind and then laughed at myself for being naive. I thought it would pass but it hasn't and its 6/7/6 today.
For 3 years have passed since that day and I still stand on the same crossroad. A lot of water has passed under the bridge, as they say in the classical language. In this context, I'd rather say a lot of thought has passed through my poor naive mind. I keep thinking and I keep forgetting. Life gets busy and I don't have as much time for myself now. With friends going away, I know someday I will need a companion and I wont have anyone.
On 6/7/3, I thought I finally had some aim in my aimless existence - a beautiful aim. Its still there and its still just an aim, nothing more. There I days I look into the blank space in front of me and feel like a loser. I gave it a shot. I messed it up. In fact, no. I didn't even do enough to mess it up. It was never my fault. I never had experience. Maybe I had wrong attitude - maybe I have wrong attitude.
No communication, no serendipity, no nothing. Someday that aim will just waft away and I won't do nothing. I was clear. I never wanted to cause any trouble...for anyone. But the question is - Could I cause any trouble? I am too nice and sensible for that. Maybe TOO sensible.
But I made her laugh that day !
I slept that night with a face in my eyes...Finally ! A face that I saw in my mind and then laughed at myself for being naive. I thought it would pass but it hasn't and its 6/7/6 today.
For 3 years have passed since that day and I still stand on the same crossroad. A lot of water has passed under the bridge, as they say in the classical language. In this context, I'd rather say a lot of thought has passed through my poor naive mind. I keep thinking and I keep forgetting. Life gets busy and I don't have as much time for myself now. With friends going away, I know someday I will need a companion and I wont have anyone.
On 6/7/3, I thought I finally had some aim in my aimless existence - a beautiful aim. Its still there and its still just an aim, nothing more. There I days I look into the blank space in front of me and feel like a loser. I gave it a shot. I messed it up. In fact, no. I didn't even do enough to mess it up. It was never my fault. I never had experience. Maybe I had wrong attitude - maybe I have wrong attitude.
No communication, no serendipity, no nothing. Someday that aim will just waft away and I won't do nothing. I was clear. I never wanted to cause any trouble...for anyone. But the question is - Could I cause any trouble? I am too nice and sensible for that. Maybe TOO sensible.
But I made her laugh that day !
posted by GuNs at
5:58 am
30 Comments:
My friend, its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Sometimes we have experiences where in the end it simply doesnt work out, but I beleive it happens for a reason. A reason that probably wont make sense in the beggining but will in the end. From my past experiences I seem to have lost out on more than I've gained. But I've come to realize that it simply wasnt meant to be. In life you'll encounter a lotta rivers flowing. You've probably tasted the water from a couple of them, lest it be you will definitely find the one that quenches your thirst.
By
ScarS, at 8:34 am
you see me now?
:)
making my presense felt, because ur post is about a department im terrible at!
lol!
By
KM, at 10:07 am
Scars : Pleased to see you here man. Thanks for dropping by my blog regularly. Those are wise words from a wise man, I guess. But you know how naive a mind can get once in a while. Thanks for writing.
Khizra :Is there ANYTHING you are bad at? C'mmon. LOL, you are awesome and your posts are most entertaining. Keep writing and keep checking back on my "gareebkhana" of a blog.
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
By
GuNs, at 10:32 am
made me remember few not so good things of life..........may the peace be with u ....btw i lost link of ur fotoblog....
By
~ Deeps ~, at 1:45 pm
hmm.....Here's to the hope that you will fill that space with someone!
"I didn't even do enough to mess it up." Not next time! Not the messing up, but the 'doing enough'!
By
Anu, at 3:23 pm
I know how you feel. :(
By
FlyingHigh, at 3:54 pm
may sound like philosophical gyan, but sometimes it helps to let the universe take over. " if you have a true dream, the entire universe conspires for you to get it..." i f it doesnt happen, it was not meant to happen... or else, it wud happen. may be l we need at times is just to let go of ourselves, to listen to our heart n just to shut our brains. if you have read Paulo Cpoelho's by the river Piedra I sat n wept, u wud know the concept of The Other- the fear in us borne out of the worldly wisdom that stops us frm doin what we truly want to do. Its only u who can shut that Other up n start chasin your dream. Most of the times, we've nothin to lose but our inhibitions...
By
Anonymous, at 6:18 pm
oops!!! kuch jyada gyan ho gaya, easier said than done anyways! sorry dude!I sometimes suffer with verbal diorrhea, kindly adjust!:)
By
Anonymous, at 6:37 pm
Im glad u said 3 years of LIFE. It shows u r moving on and living, not just existing. Heartbreak can make ppl change forever...it did that to me for a few years...now Im ok. But I dunno for sure how I'd look at love again.
Is that u in the pic? Nice one.
Keshi.
By
Keshi, at 4:55 am
Deepak :Good to see you back on my blog, brother. http://greatguns.zoto.com is my photo gallery. Check it out.
Anu :I hope against hope there IS a 'next time'. Thanks for the reassurance.
Shradz :Oh well, for a few days, you sailed in my boat too. Thanks for being there. You have your share of fun, though.
Reaper :[:-D]Typing 'reaper' makes me think you are a guy again. LOL, is there a name I can call you by? And no, you do not suffer from any kind of diarrhoea, verbal or otherwise. What you wrote there is so true and so obvious that only a loose nut wouldn't understand that. Thanks a lot.
Keshi :3 years...of life, yes. Three years of a 'changed' life, a new 'kind' of life, a new 'feeling' of life. This isnt even a heartbreak technically speaking. Just a feeling ...
Yes, thats me in the pic. "Lonely At Lohegad".
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
By
GuNs, at 7:04 am
3 years. U'r not trying hard enough! hehe It'll hapen for you.. just a matter of time. Main thing is to approach this with an open mind.
And yes, next time just go for it, no more waiting. The quicker you get it done with, the quicker you move on :)
jEDI
By
Anonymous, at 8:22 am
3 years did you say? Anyways life moves on! And sometimes 'some people' realise too late in life what they have lost!
Cheers
Manasi Kakatkar
By
Anonymous, at 10:57 am
Dude!! Drinks on me... Lets start with Walker.... I think you need that .. n of course .. i ll accompany you.. :-)
cheer up man.. i m sure u ll find smone smday.... we all will..
By
Apy, at 4:08 pm
I think you'll find someone some day, and i don't think you have the wrong attitude! It's a lovely post, and your definatly not a loser! I agree with the first comment -it is better to have loved and lost!
By
Lidia, at 5:22 am
Love urself to the fullest - They'll love u more!!! Dreamz rnt just made of pilows, woh poore zaroor hote hai, just w8 for the rt time..u keep up wid ur activities to convert them.
By
Garima, at 11:05 am
dude,
you at least gave it a shot.
Which is more than you can say about a lot of people. Ah the tales of unexpressed love... sigh.
By
Tapan, at 5:21 pm
so I stated the obvious, eh? silly me!! btw u can call me kavita if that sounds better to u:)
By
Anonymous, at 7:13 am
ok ok, your tagged :) Happy that i told you now? :)
By
Lidia, at 9:24 am
hi,
After reading the post i thought, i'll give you some of my own expert 'suggestions', but then after reading the plethora of 'Gyaans' i have changed my mind. But all i wanted to say is "Move on with the life...", The memories of the sweet dreams will always haunt you (in future too), Even when you have found a fresh warm hands, which will caress your future.
All the best for FUTURE.
-prax
By
Prashanth CM, at 10:20 am
Time I replied to comments !
Jedi :Still looking for the ONE opportunity. Opportunity comes, Guns shoots !
Manasi :I guess you are right. Thanks for the comment.
Apy :Thanks a lot for the offer, brother ! Sadly, I don't drink. Neither do I smoke nor do I flirt. All that makes me feel even worse coz I'm such a "good-boy" for nothing ! We can share a hot-chocolate if you care though.
Amy :I'm really gald to hear that you like reading what I write. Sometimes I end up writing and post and then I wonder if anyone would even give a damn to read what I've written. Thanks a lot and yeah....I'm tagged [:-(]. He he. Will do it soon. Watch out !!
Garima :Write me a poem. I'll write you one too. How does that sound? Thanks for dropping in.
By
GuNs, at 1:13 pm
Tapan :Unexpressed !! Well I was kinda midway between expressed and the "un". Sure I will try to remove the "un" as soon as I find an opportunity.
Reaper/Kavita :Hey. Thanks for REMINDING me. Sometimes the most obvious things are overlooked in emotion. Always takes a good friend to point out those things. Kavita huh? Cool. Is that why you write so many Kavitas on your blog? BTW, I read the poem that you mentioned. I still cant understand what Reaper alternatively means so that it is appropriately female!!
Amy :Thanks for my first tag ! And grrr...I'm gonna get back soon !! Watch out !! LOL.
Prashanth :Thanks for caring to comment. I read a quote by Khalil Gibran somewhere that said "Our souls keep hovering in places where we once enjoyed ourselves". So true !
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
By
GuNs, at 1:19 pm
3 yrs is a long time...dont u think....
By
alice, at 9:28 am
Alice : Yes, it is. Thats why I wrote this post. Coz its 3 (long) years.
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
By
GuNs, at 9:58 am
U look cool!
I hope u were not anywhere close to Mumbai blasts...
Keshi.
By
Keshi, at 5:35 am
Keshi :Hey, thanks. And I'm all ok and safe in Pune. Everyone in Mumbai seems ok too. Hope the same for your near and dear ones in Mumbai.
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
By
GuNs, at 7:10 am
Yes, one thing's for sure. Guessing only by your writings, you are indeed too sensible than you give yourself credit for.
And yes, too much sensibility does come in the way of doing the gut thing.
Intriguing style of writing. Loved it.
Keep at it (I am referring to the post and the issue at hand)
Cheers!
Karan
By
Anonymous, at 1:36 am
Karan :Hey dude ! Thanks for the comment. Our long standing associaton since MS has grown into mutual admiration, I must say. I enjoy reading your writings as much as you do mine. Its a case of matching wavelengths, I guess. We're both nuts once in a while and hence we generally have things which are interesting to hear about.
I felt a certain void since I stopped writing on MS. I used to love the interaction with various random people and their thoughts and views on my stands. I'm very happy Shradha coaxed me into blogging coz it certainly has filled that void a lot more than I expected it to.
Thanks for the wishes. I will keep at it (writing and the 'issue at hand'). Am waiting for one chance. I know its stupid to wait forever but I dont have the audacity to walk in rudely and make my day as they do in the movies.
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
By
GuNs, at 6:16 am
That last line of my earlier comment was for me man. Nevermind... :)
By
Tapan, at 7:28 pm
WOW!! now dat was a nice one, if der is oen dat icud say to be so..... So is this s cooked up story or really abt u??
if the former, i dare say, gr8 work.....
if teh later, u have the courage to pen ur thoughts and den share it wid the world just like dat!!
By
Sam, at 9:53 am
Sumit :Some things can be related to an enigma. You are never sure if it is real or just a fantasy. I'm am just glad you liked the write-up.
-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs
By
Unknown, at 9:08 pm
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